Freaking Out

Well, I have a little over a month before I leave. I have my tickets, my passport, my visa, and nearly all that is left to do is to question my plan.

So far, this summer has been breezy in a stark contrast to the past two years. It feels so good to relax, do fun things, and not make any long term plans. The most stressful part of the last couple months has been moving my stuff to the dumpster/friends/Goodwill/my parent’s house.

However, I have started to get nervous. Which is natural and to be expected (blah blah blah), and completely consistent with my worrying nature. BUT, what I want to know is, where were the road blocks?? Where are the friends who are totally rational and ask me specific questions about money? Where are the skeptics who think I’m running away from responsibility? Why doesn’t anyone say this is counter productive and immature? Everyone I have talked to (thus far) about my trip thinks its a great idea…. Why?!? I feel like I’m sitting in an airplane, and at first I’m excited because I was able to sneak on without a ticket. But now I’m questioning the sanity and safety because it was so easy to do.

Internally, I’m giggling a little because I know how much money is in my bank account, and that this is a TERRIBLE idea. I really cannot afford to do this… and yet, I’m giving it a whirl. It almost feels like my best attempt at traveling in a wagon train across the country and seeing if I have what it takes to make it. There’s a large part of me that loves the adventure of not knowing what is going to happen and finding out if I really have the internal resources to solve problems and keep my wits about me.

I hope I don’t completely fail at this. Eek!

P.S. Here are some recent pictures from the road trip I took with my mom, brother, and grandpa to Eagle, Alaska.



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