Week 3: Retreat

I’m staying at this place that has huts and rainforest and beaches, and I’m a little sad I’m missing the snow at home. It’s been three weeks and this place is glorious, but I’m tired of moving around. I’m ready to settle and be good at something. It’s taxing for me to keep learning new tasks every day. I feel like an idiot. I ask a million questions, I am not able to anticipate what people are needing, and get looked at like “how could you possibly think that?” I don’t mind being a new person or a beginner. I can get off my high horse and learn a new task, but it’s wearing me down. I keep reminding myself that I am an intelligent person and a good worker, but I have been needing that reminder a lot more the past few days. I feel incompetent. I hate feeling incompetent.

It’s time to stay put for a while. I need to be in one place long enough to feel like I have learned how to do the job, and do it well, so I don’t forget steps when opening and closing the damn kitchen. Side note: people in Australia swear A LOT. I thought I swore quite a bit, but no, I don’t. There are times when I can’t make sense of what people are trying to say because it sounds like a bunch of random words thrown together. It cracks me up.

A little about where I’m staying… it’s called Sanctuary Retreat, look it up. Seriously, look it up. There are absolutely stunning views of the water, trees, and sky. I’m in heaven. I didn’t realize heaven would have so many… so so many hills to walk up though, and creepy crawlies EVERYWHERE. I look out the window of my bedroom because it sounds like my neighbor is walking through the trees, but I know he’s not. It’s a giant lizard thing. I don’t think they are called lizards, but I can’t remember what the correct name is. Two feet long, black and yellow, traipsing through the brush. What a beast.

There are spiders as big as my hand, and they jump. Oh my sweet Jesus, they jump. I don’t think about them too much, because the frogs and the geckos are my constant companions (aside from obvious little bugs that mean practically nothing at this point). Big ol’ frogs come out on the pathways at night, so never EVER forget your flashlight because they will wait for you to touch them before they move out of your way. You will scream, people will ask if you are ok, and then they will laugh.

I’m also super excited to use the kayaks and snorkel gear that are available here. Two of my favorite water toys, right at my disposal! I saw a sting ray when I was in the water yesterday. I took a deep breath, and scurried out of that water as fast as I could. I was later told by the sanctuary owner to, “just stomp around a little and they will move.” Yeah, ok. I’ll try that next time.

Well, it is time for me to help set-up for the bomb staff dinner we get every night. It is so worth the constant paranoia I feel about a spider crawling out of the chair I’m sitting on (it happens).

TA