Week 13: Changing

Oh what a week it has been, actually, its been two. I skipped last week, what are ya gonna do? Life happens, also this internet is trying my very last patience.

So many things have changed, and yet, so little has changed. Vague, I know. Last week, I was quite lonely and dreading my last days in Byron. I would have never chose to stay here so long, but I think it’s been really good for me. I’ve learned so much from the people I work with who have suddenly become special to me and so kind in their acceptance of who I am. I have experienced them valuing my difference, and celebrating my large and small feats of growth. I have been overcoming fears through thought and action, slowly learning the world isn’t as terrifying as I tend to believe it is. Turns out, I am not as powerless as I tend to believe either. I am daily gaining strength and endurance in my heart and mind. I have been consistently challenged by people who know me well and those whom I’ve barely met to get outside of my head and just live a little more. This is so difficult for me. I’ve been working towards this end for years, trying desperately to break outside of the bondage I feel internally. It is a slow process for me, but I can see that year by year, step by step, I am loosening the binds; constantly reminding myself that change comes through relationship with others. What a terribly and beautifully vulnerable thing. This morning I find myself reflecting on so many experiences and relationships that have moved me to this moment where I feel change occurring inside me and see it in my actions as well. It’s good, and sitting well with my soul. I am so proud of myself and so grateful for the people who walk with me.

This is my last full day in Byron Bay, and as I collect my gear and ration my food I am surprised at how different I feel. I am empowered and softer, I feel really great about the free latte and Mars bar I ate. every. single. day. Praise the good Lord I’ve been working really hard because all my clothes still fit. Whew. I can’t believe this is my life right now, it’s a bit surreal.

Ok, sentimental talk aside, I am so so excited about the next two weeks. I’m leaving Australia, (peace!) and meeting up with one of my very dearest friends. I get all giddy and wiggly when I think about it!

So, here’s to the next leg of my journey, may it bring more fun, freedom, and lifelong friends.

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